Saturday, August 23, 2014

My Recovery


My Recovery 

I was always deserving of your honesty,
I never asked for your pretense, false hopes or dreams.
I was frantically searching for my limitations,
I was so very frustrated and my tears fell in streams.

You see in the process of trying to help me, 
In the best way you knew how.
You accidentally crushed and shattered my spirit, 
And more heart-break I refuse to allow.

Your lack of understanding was based on lack of knowledge,
And problems that you were unable to see.
But I won’t allow  your ignorance,
To continue to hurt and devastate me.

I choose to deal only with those that can be fair to me.
I  have a disability, but did not lose my freedom of choice.
I can still fight for what is just and fair,
Don’t assume my disability has made me lose my voice.

My recovery is my own personal battle,
I will let no one stand in my way. 
I will live my life with dignity,
And this is how I choose to begin each day.

by: Debbie Wilson
    5-12-96

Wednesday, August 20, 2014

We Will Rise Again

We Will Rise Again 

We will rise again,
each and every time we fall.
We will rise again,
trying hard to stand even more tall.

We will rise again,

it doesn't matter how bad the life pitfall.We will rise again,  each and every time we run into a brick wall.

We will rise again,
each and every time we fall.
We will rise again, 
trying hard to stand even more tall.
 
We will rise again,
struggling to get up if we have to crawl.
We will rise again, 
by facing all life's obstacles and rising above them all.





We will rise again,
each and every time we fall.
We will rise again, 
trying hard to stand even more tall.












Debbie M. Wilson 

We Learn

We Learn

We learn to again live.
We learn to again give.
We learn to be adaptive.
We learn to be perceptive.
We learn how to forgive.
We learn to stop being combative.
We learn to again walk.
We learn to again talk.
We learn how to be a new "me."
We learn that we paid quite a fee.
We learn that it takes time to heal.
We learn that it takes time to again feel.
We learn this the best we can but it takes time.
We learn that with enough time we can again shine!

Debbie M. Wilson











Highest Mountain of Our Life

Highest Mountain of Our Life
We have a very high mountain to climb,
It is a steep mountain so focus your mind.
A climb filled with overcoming obstacles.
Many times the obstacles will seem impossible. 
I happen to know you can make it to the top.
Just keep on climbing and don't ever stop.
I have observed all your perseverance and strength.
I believe you're capable of going the entire length.
I believe you can do anything and be almost anyone.
I believe you can be happy as you climb towards the sun.
If you can make it through today and then tomorrow.
There are many of us here to help soothe all your sorrow.
Some of us made it to the top and we now all await you.
We are willing to help you climb so we can all share the
amazing and hard earned view.

Debbie M. Wilson

Did You Notice?

Did You Notice?

Did you notice,
it feels like you walked alone?
Did you notice,
the lack of family and friend support shown?
Did you notice,
when others seemed to stop calling on the phone?
Did you notice,
this disappointment made you want to cry or groan?
Did you notice,
how many ways compassion could have been shown?
Did you notice,
when others used a different or demeaning tone?
Did you notice,
a lack of feeling like you were turning to stone?
Did you notice,
when you were ready to move forward even if alone?


Debbie M. Wilson 

Letting Go Of The Life We Have Planned




One of my favorite quotes is by Joseph Campbell, an American professor, writer and lecturer.
"We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us."
Sometimes that life isn't what we expect and coming to terms with the new reality of life with chronic illness is difficult and can be traumatic.  I know it took me several years after my diagnosis with chronic illness before I found an inner acceptance and could re-point my compass in a new direction. It was as much of an emotional as it was a physical healing process.  And the healing journey is never fully completed.

We must tend to our emotional and physical selves, so we can stay balanced as we strive to live happy and fulfilled lives.

Still it isn't easy.

The other day after coming home from a long day at work, my 9 year old son approached me as I walked in the door. "Dad, will you play catch with me in the back yard?". I wanted to say yes right away, I really did. But if you are like me, you are always making calculations like the following in your head:
"I can go play ball now, but if I do my Fibromyalgia will flare up and I'll pay for it with several hours or even a day of stiffness, pain, and discomfort. Is it worth the trade off?  Or I could disappoint him and say no and spare myself of any pain."
I agreed to play catch with him largely because I want my son to know I care about him and to teach him some of the finer points of baseball. He is at an age where he compares himself to his friends. I don't want him to be the only kid among his friends whose dad won't play catch with him. Plus it is an opportunity to make connections and memories with him that will last a lifetime.

Afterwards I was more stiff than usual and did not sleep well, but I was comforted that what I had done was more important than my own well being.

But not all decisions are like that.  Some are just daily tasks that must be done and have no greater meaning, but when added up can amount to significant difficulty.

For example, my yard requires mowing about every week in the summer time. I know if I spend an afternoon mowing the lawn and doing miscellaneous yard work that I will be exhausted the following day and pretty much be unable to have a productive day. It's just a fact. Sometimes I do it knowing the inevitable consequence. Other times, I make the mental calculation and decide it just isn't worth the downtime to me and I'll hire someone to do it for me. It's an adjustment I've had to make.  I take a little hit to the old male ego on this one, but the trade off is often worth it.

I don't recall making calculations like this before chronic illness. It just wasn't a factor. And sometimes those closest to us - spouses, children, parents - don't understand the trade offs we make like this all the time.  Sometimes it is easier for us to "let go of the life we have planned" and "accept the life waiting for us" with chronic illness than it is for our loved ones. That's where patience, love and understanding can help.  We must be patient, just as we ask them to be.

No one ever said it was easy, but it's worth it. 

http://blog.healingwell.com/2011/03/letting-go-of-life-we-have-planned.html

Hypopituitarism After Brain Injury



Jeffrey Bazarian, MD, BrainLine
 
I keep hearing more and more about the need for people with TBI to see an endocrinologist to rule out hypopituitarism. Some studies I’ve read about have found improvements in cognitive outcome following the administration of growth hormone. It is hypothesized that it may be at least partially responsible for the fatigue so common after TBI. Can you shed some light on this topic?
 
Head injury can damage the pituitary gland and reduce production of two important hormones. The part of the pituitary gland that regulates growth hormone (GH) release is particularly vulnerable to the effects of head injury. Reduced production of GH causes symptoms of fatigue, reduced interest in sex, reduced stamina, anxiety, and depression. This happens in about 18 percent of people with brain injuries, most of whom had moderate to severe TBI. In most patients (90 percent), this condition resolves within a year.
The part of the pituitary gland that makes antiduretic hormone (ADH) is also vulnerable to injury. Reduced production of ADH can cause diabetes insipidus, which causes excessive urination and extreme thirst. (Unlike diabetes mellitus, diabetes insipidus does NOT raise blood sugar levels and is NOT treated with insulin.) Sometimes the resulting dehydration causes a sensation of fatigue. Diabetes insipidus occurs in about 25 percent of the people with brain injury, most of whom have had severe TBI. And again, in most patients, this condition resolves in less than a year.
Bazarian JJ, Cernak I, Noble-Haeusslein L, Potolicchio S, Temkin N. Long-Term Neurologic Outcomes After Traumatic Brain InjuryJournal of Head TraumaRehabilitation. 2009; 24(6):439-451.

http://www.brainline.org/content/2011/07/hypopituitarism-after-brain-injury.html